Ever see one of those stories that just couldn't be any more ripe to mock?
This item comes to us from one of America's best-loved newspapers - The Leaf Chronicle. (don't laugh, according to the site, it's "Your Connection to Clarksville, Tenn."). The man's name has been changed to protect the
Anyway:
[A man] was driving home from his job in Dover Wednesday at about 11 p.m. when a beautiful red fox dashed in front of his SUV. After he ran over the fox, he stopped his GMC Jimmy . . .
You may be thinking to yourself, "Oh how nice, he wants to see if the fox is okay. Just like those two guys in Tommy Boy, when they hit the deer - Maybe he's never seen one up close before."
You would be wrong. This is Tennessee after all.
After he ran over the fox, he stopped his GMC Jimmy to get the fox to cut off its tail for a souvenir, and he put it in the back seat, said Dale Grandstaff, a Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency wildlife officer.
The wildlife officer, by way of explanation said:
The tails are real bushy and pretty and thick this time of year.
Ah, well, that explains it . . . at least he's cleaning up the roadkill. But, with the fox in the back seat, (just like the deer from the movie) the eerie parallels to Tommy Boy continue:
Things took an odd turn when [the man] heard a noise coming from his back seat and realized the fox was alive — and not happy.
Gee, I wonder why the fox was enraged?
The driver desperately searched for something to hold the fox back and prevent him from climbing into the front seat and biting him, he told [Wildlife Officer] Grandstaff.As he looked in the back seat to get a blanket to block the fox, he took his attention from the road.
The SUV crossed the center line and wrecked in a ditch, flipping once and landing upside down in the 3900 block of Lylewood Road, Grandstaff said.
So, an enraged live animal causes the destruction of a car . . . sounds familiar.
[The man] suffered minor injuries and bruises and was treated at the scene by Montgomery County Emergency Medical Service. The fox was found dead in the SUV. Grandstaff said it was not clear whether the fox died of injuries caused by being hit by the SUV or if it died in the wreck.
Either way, a really bad day for the fox . . .
The Wildlife Officer, who obviously knows a lot about animal psychology, explained the fox's behavior:
Grandstaff said there was nothing wrong with [the man] taking the animal after striking it. But foxes don't like to be caged, especially when they are alive, he said.
The dead ones apparently don't mind . . . It's also lucky for this guy that skunk tails aren't "real bushy and pretty and thick this time of year."
And the final irony, (drum-roll please): The man's name is Tommy Fox.
P.S.
It was also not known if Tommy Fox got to keep the tail.
1 comment:
Do you think they use that newspaper for more than reading? I bet his M&Ms spilled all over the dash in the accident too.
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