There Are Just No Words . . .

I'm reminded of the line from "Crocodile Dundee:"

"someone's put two Dunnies in here!"

Only now a Japanese company combines the two functions in one device, and they want Americans to buy it. Apparently 60% of Japanese homes have one of these. The company really can't understand why more American aren't interested.

I can enlighten them a bit. their device is designed to automatically clean one's backside using a nice warm flow of water. I don't know about everyone else, but when I stumble into the bathroom in the middle of the night and turn on the hot water, IT ISN'T HOT! Who would pay$5000 for a device that will shoot them in the *** with a jet of cold water in the middle of the night? Even if the device has a sensor to run the water till it's warm, who wants to wait 1-2 minutes to wipe and dry?

There are two types of American toilet-goers.

Type A likes to get in, sit down, get it out, get up, and get gone.
Type B likes to linger, maybe read a bit, think over the cares of the day, and so on.

Neither type has a use for this type of toilet. The Type A person has no time to wait for a shower and a blow-dry, and I (the type B) certainly don't want to be halfway through a good article in PC World when my toilet decides I'm done and attacks me from behind.

Our throne is one of the few things in life that is completely under our control, and we like it that way.