Space, The Final Frontier . . .

. . . left unsullied by stupid perfume advertising.

Alas, no more:

Genki Wear Star Trek Perfume - A trio of scents from the final frontier
There are three fragrances planned for 2009 with the monikers "Tiberius" "Red Shirt" and "Ponn Farr."

Tiberius
The Tiberius cologne, named in honor of the Mirror Universe James T. Kirk’s challenges users to "Boldly Go" with a perfume described as being spiked with "notes of freshness and sensuality.

Red Shirt
Genki’s "Red Shirt" cologne (whose tag line "Because Tomorrow May Never Come" is priceless) celebrates the sacrifices of those often nameless crew of the USS Enterprise. Described appropriately as a cologne for those with a "devotion to living each day as it could be your last" the cologne has top notes of green mandarin, bergamot, and lavender, with base notes of leather and grey musk.

Pon Farr
The most risqué titled of the new Star Trek fragrances is "Ponn Farr" which is a perfume designed to "drive him wild." It should only be used once every seven years (okay, that isn’t true). Named for the Vulcan mating ritual first introduced in the episode "Amok Time," this perfume is one of the newly designed products meant to appeal to female fans.

You have to see the picture of the Red Shirt fragrance on the site. Note the crosshairs. I can't believe this is real. What is the Trek universe coming too?

Breakthrough in Medical Research

An enduring mystery of the human body has been solved. Where does belly button lint comes from? A Fox News article sums up the research:

'Abdominal hair is mainly responsible for the accumulation of navel lint,' proclaims Steinhauser in the abstract to his paper, presented in the online version of the journal Medical Hypotheses. 'Therefore, this is a typically male phenomenon. The abdominal hair collects fibers from cotton shirts and directs them into the navel where they are compacted to a felt-like matter.'

"Typically male?" What are you trying to say about men?

That's in keeping with a medium-scale Australian study cited by London's Daily Telegraph, which found that the average bearer of navel lint was "a slightly overweight middle-aged male with a hairy abdomen." . . . The hair's scales act like a kind of barbed hooks. . . . Abdominal hair often seems to grow in concentric circles around the navel.

That passage makes my belly button sound a little like the "all-powerful Sarlacc" from Return of the Jedi. As a slightly overweight, middle-aged man with a hairy abdomen, I can confirm that I do, indeed, collect belly button lint . . . let me rephrase that. Lint collects in my belly button. Don't worry, Becky, I'm not saving up to knit a sweater, or make flannel board characters, or anything weird like that.

Maybe if I comb some of those "concentric circles" another direction . . . hmmm . . . something to think about.

(Someone should nominate this for an IgNobel prize, if it hasn't been nominated already)