Breakthrough in Medical Research

An enduring mystery of the human body has been solved. Where does belly button lint comes from? A Fox News article sums up the research:

'Abdominal hair is mainly responsible for the accumulation of navel lint,' proclaims Steinhauser in the abstract to his paper, presented in the online version of the journal Medical Hypotheses. 'Therefore, this is a typically male phenomenon. The abdominal hair collects fibers from cotton shirts and directs them into the navel where they are compacted to a felt-like matter.'

"Typically male?" What are you trying to say about men?

That's in keeping with a medium-scale Australian study cited by London's Daily Telegraph, which found that the average bearer of navel lint was "a slightly overweight middle-aged male with a hairy abdomen." . . . The hair's scales act like a kind of barbed hooks. . . . Abdominal hair often seems to grow in concentric circles around the navel.

That passage makes my belly button sound a little like the "all-powerful Sarlacc" from Return of the Jedi. As a slightly overweight, middle-aged man with a hairy abdomen, I can confirm that I do, indeed, collect belly button lint . . . let me rephrase that. Lint collects in my belly button. Don't worry, Becky, I'm not saving up to knit a sweater, or make flannel board characters, or anything weird like that.

Maybe if I comb some of those "concentric circles" another direction . . . hmmm . . . something to think about.

(Someone should nominate this for an IgNobel prize, if it hasn't been nominated already)