Thursday, April 03, 2008

At Last, Vindication!

I am a well-known water hater. I just plain don't like it. Therefore, I just plain don't drink it unless there is no other choice. For years people have been telling me that I need to drink 'x' glasses of water a day. I have always politely maintained that this was a load of crap. Regardless of whether you believe in God or Darwin, our water regulating mechanism (drink when you're thirsty) just works. Now, thanks to the wonders of modern science, I can say:

I TOLD YOU SO!!!

Some highlights:

Scientists say there is no evidence drinking large amounts of water is beneficial for the average healthy person, and do not even know how this widely held belief came about.

I blame it on WATER NAZIS!. . . or the bottled water industry, take your pick.

Specialists in kidney conditions in America reviewed research on claims eight 8oz glasses of water help flush toxins from the body, preventing weight gain and improving skin tone.

Note that these are kidney specialists, not witch doctors, or Reiki healers.

No single study indicated average healthy people needed to drink this amount of water - a total of 3.3 pints - each day. . . no studies have found any benefit to the organs of increased water intake.

So, I don't want to hear anything else about kidney stones either.

On average, the body uses between 1.7 and 2.6 pints (one-1.5 litres) of water daily and more in high temperatures or when exercising.

This is replaced through drinks but a large amount is also contained in food, so it is not necessary to drink an equivalent amount to replace water levels.

I've been sayin' it for years! (not that I'm gloating or anything).

And, in closing, I'd just like to reiterate the scientists' warning to all Water Nazis about the dangerousness and potential lethality of their addiction.

Too much water can affect the balance of salts in the body causing "water intoxication", which can be fatal.

Please, get help before it's too late!

3 comments:

Becky said...

What about with chinese water torture? Do you think more water or less would be best in this persuasive method for more open communication among people of contention.

gavitron said...

John Stossel also pointed this out in his book "Myths, Lies, and Downright Stupidity".
Our secular culture seems to think that it is protected from superstition because of its belief in the certainty of science. This story just shows that belief in the scientific authority can be just as superstitious as believing in the ministry of magic.
I guess many citizens are very superstitious because they believe that the government could magically fix our economic problems while ignoring the downfall of morality.

Matt said...

There is no cookie so sweet as a fresh batch of Vindication... I am personal witness to your 25+ year battle with those attempting to force a clear, colorless fluid down your throat... enjoy it brother...